Four Pathways to a Satisfying and Peaceful Life by Theresa and Jon

“We can let the circumstances of our life
harden us and make us increasingly
resentful and afraid or we can let them
soften us and make us kinder.”
~Pema Chodron

When we look back on our years of growth, healing, and self-exploration, and on our years of training, research, and experience in counseling and teaching others, we return time and again to four basic principles that guide and inspire us, four keys that ground us, that remind us of who we are, that open us to the Mystery.

These four pathways are so basic, so simple that the mind can hardly tolerate it. The mind wants it all to be-oh so complicated! The mind wants so desperately to be in control- to run the whole show.

What do you have to lose?! Try embracing these four principles down to your core, to the deepest cellular level of your body. The quality of your life will transform.

Pathway 1: 
Embracing the Present Moment. "You must be present to win," as the saying goes. How could you even experience a satisfying and peaceful life if you were not there, not present in a palpable, energetic sense? To stay present in everyday life is an ongoing challenge, an extremely rewarding challenge. What does that even mean--to "be present"? It refers to a state of being where you are rooted within yourself, so that the activity and momentum of the mind is not able to drag you out of your deeper self. It means being right here, right now in this very moment, even as you read these words. It means always having some piece of your awareness rooted in your inner being, able to see the flow of thoughts, sensations, emotions, and life circumstances without getting lost in them, without identifying with them.

Pathway 2: 
Developing an Inner Climate of Compassion. Treating ourselves with warmth and gentleness does not come naturally to most of us. We are much more familiar and even comfortable with a mixture of self-judgment and self-neglect. This unfriendly inner attitude divides us against ourself, drains our life force, and leaves us with a sense of dis-ease and dissatisfaction. We need to develop a "caring feeling presence," a bodily-felt sense of warmth and compassion. This inner tone of kindness creates the supportive atmosphere necessary for the natural unfolding process of our intrinsic nature to take place.

Pathway 3: 
Inhabiting the Body. Moment-by-moment body awareness is an important access point into a deeper experience of our inner essence. To "inhabit the body" is to feel the body from within, from the inside. By taking the focus of attention away from the thinking mind, away from compulsive and useless thinking patterns, we are able to be present with our whole being, with every cell of our body. We can open to the subtle energy field that pervades the body, giving vibrant life to every organ and every cell.

Pathway 4: 
Opening to Relationship as a Vehicle for Growth We see ourselves reflected back so clearly and directly when we stop blaming others for our internal experience. Because many of our wounds originated in early relationships (parents, siblings, peers, etc), we have an opportunity to bring to light and heal those places in us that could easily stay hidden without the mirror of relationship. With this healing, comes the ability to see ourself with intense honesty and boundless compassion, which then opens our eyes and hearts to our partner.